“Yes?”
“Sister!
Has anyone come for me today?”
This
was invariably the question I asked the nurse during the four or five days
after my admission into the hospital.
From
the time I joined the University College as a Lecturer, my room was converted
into a mini club, with three or four Doctors returned from abroad, and a couple
of railway officers, who came daily to play bridge with me or borrow the books
and magazines I had.
That
was apart from my group of friends.
Satyam worked in a Government office.
His was one of the very few homes I visited whenever I had leisure or in
the holidays. His sister, Jaya, was
always engaged in arguments contradicting whatever I said, and at times so
vehemently even to the extent of appearing that she disliked my going
there. But time flew unnoticed in the
conversation with her.
Lakshmana
Rao worked in an insurance company. He
came from a rather poor family and at times stayed on. And there were Murthy, Raju, Sivam and many
others. As soon as they entered, they
took liberty in taking my cigarettes from the drawers even with out bothering
to ask and puffing away. When they
left, they would touch me for a tenner as they had an urgent need with it. I nodded at them to take the amount from out
of my wallet. They never even bothered
to mention if and when they would return, nor did I ask. When rarely some one returned, I felt elated
like making a profit out of business.
When it was not, there were no regrets as there was no expectation in
the first place.
Such
were the relations in our circle of friends.
I reckoned that the moment they knew of my admission into the hospital,
they would que up to wait on me during the hour of my need. I had also expected that I would have a
tough time in choosing who would stay on with me and who would go. For the first two days, I consoled myself
that they would not yet have got the word.
But on the third day, Satyam, dropped in, albeit for a few minutes.
“Hey,
Satyr, did you tell our folks?”, I asked.
“Of
course, I did. The moment you were in
here”, he replied.
I
nodded in surprise.
“Satyr,
I want you to do me a favour. On
Sunday, the day after tomorrow, the doctor said he would operate for
appendicitis. You know my tenure in the
College is over and only after the holidays will it be known if I continue here
or have to go else where. Please tell
our friends and ask them to pool in at least two hundred bucks. I would repay after the vacation.”
“Two
hundred? Who is going to do that?” He
wondered
“Why
won’t they? Many of them owe me at least that much for what they took as loan
itself. Please explain to them my
position”
“O.
K. I will tell them”, he replied.
“Well,
Satyam, you too, can help to the extent you can, can’t you?”
“Of
course”, he said.
I
was confident that they would pool up easily the two hundreds required by
Saturday. If all of them really tried,
that was no great matter.
But,
the nurse insisted that no one turned up.
Of course, no one came when I was awake. But suppose someone dropped in when I was asleep and did not want
to disturb me?
That
Sunday afternoon, I was still drowsy.
“A
lady has come for you,” she announced.
Who
could that be? I tried to guess. Which
lady would make it a point to see me in a hospital bed?
Could
it be Susi? No. It could not be
her. She was a free-wheeler. She borrowed from me once twenty three
rupees. It was her style of
borrowing. She never asked one in round
figures. She wanted a specific amount to
sound genuine and really needy. She
never returned any amount to any one.
Knowing that I lent her. No, she
could not be.
I
relapsed into sleep, even before I could guess further.
The
next morning I woke up at the cool touch on my forehead. The nurse’s hand was not that cool. There before me I saw in a haze Jaya’s
figure, blurred. I did not want to
disturb the pleasant dream and closed my eyes and sleep took over.
When
I woke up later, she was there still sitting.
“Who,
Jaya?”, I asked.
“Yes. It’s me.
How are you feeling?”
“Why
did you come? How did you know” I asked.
“Why,
do you think that no one knows unless you tell them?”, she countered. I had no answer.
“Satyam
is not to be seen. Why?”
“He
did not come. He mentioned casually
yesterday that you were in the hospital for an operation and that you needed
two hundreds. He has no money. So he stayed out. I asked him why he has not informed me earlier. He said, “What is there to tell you?”
“Did
Satyam really say that?”, I was surprised.
“What
do you mean?”
“Oh,
nothing. The money apart, he could at
least have dropped in to say “Hello”, instead of shying away.”
“You
must be in need of some money. Here is
a hundred. Please have it”, she said.
“No
thanks, Jaya.” I refused politely.
“Then
how will you manage,” she asked.
“It
will not be a problem if one of my men turns up”, I said with confidence.
“Of
course, it will not be a problem” She was all sarcasm. “Even it one of them turns up.”
After
a pause, she continued, “Look! I always warned you that not one among your
friends will help you in your need.
It’s time when I am proved right”
She
never had a great opinion of those in my group. She insisted that they were a bunch of selfish men, who gathered
around for their own ends and that not one would help me when really
needed. I was deeply hurt at her
decision of my buddies.
Her
accusation was more painful than that of the operation.
“Jaya,
the doctors invented anesthesia to mitigate pain due to the knife-cuts. But no body has invented one for reducing
the pain from cruel words.”
“It
is good for the world, that they did not. For, man would never have realised
the truth, otherwise. Though it pains
to know, we have to know certain facts of life, sometime, or the other”, she
asserted.
“Then
you say that none of my friends is reliable?” I asked
“Yes,
do you want me to day that again?”, she dared.
“Why,
may I ask? Only because they could not come here? Who knows, they might have their own problems? Why blame them rashly without knowing?”
“Agreed,
they have their problems. But could
they not once, at least once, show their face and go? Who does not have problems?
Why, did you not go to help when they needed? Did you have not problems then?” she countered.
True. Once I was down on bed for four days, and
only up moving around that day when Murthy’s brother was seriously ill and he
was panicky. I stayed along with them
overnight, only to be ill, and be back in bed for another two days.
Perhaps,
she was right. But the heart refused to
concede.
“It’s
alright, Jaya. You have been staying
for long. Why don’t you go and have
some food?” I changed the topic.
“It
is better if some one stays here with you”, she said.
“Yes,
but who?”
“O.K.
Some one will do that. Now it is time
for you to rest. Please.” She said.
It
was past midnight when I woke up. While
adjusting the pillow, I felt the ten tenners lying under it.
What
did Jaya mean by placing the money under my pillow? For a woman who made it a point to oppose whatever I said? Why was she so attached? Was it kindness or sympathy? Or was it love? Or was she expressing gratitude her brother owefully lacked? For a long time, I pondered, with the notes
in my hand.
Jaya
turned up next morning.
“Hello,
Sir,”
“Hello,
Jaya”
“How
are you? Feeling better?”
“Yes,
to the extent most pains have gone”
“Tell
me, your eyes are red, why, did you not sleep last night?”
“Some
how I could not sleep well. But, why
did you leave the money?”
“Silly!
So you have been thinking all night about it and not slept? At this rate, how are you going to face the
challenges of life? Why, was it wrong? Don’t you need it?”
“Of
course, I do. But why this
bondage?” I murmured. I was disturbed at the tears in her eyes and
I felt ashamed at my questions to this kindliness.
“I
am sorry, Jaya. I could not understand
your mind!”, I said in explanation.
“Don’t
say that! At least now, you do. Glad for that!”
“But,
Jaya, you know my position. My tenure
in the College was over and only after the vacations do I know whether to
continue here or go else where. My
career is still not certain”.
“But,
why are you so diffident? Won’t there
be any job for you to do in your life?
Am I not here?” she asked.
“You?”
I looked at her surprised.
“Yes,
me! What about it?”
Yes. With her confidence and enthusiasm and
optimistic outlook. I felt that I could
face the whole world, with her by my side.
Was it not one such I needed as my companion to face life’s challenges?
“Hope!”
She
laughed heartily. “I am not hope. My name is Jaya”
With
a feigned seriousness, I warned her.
“Look,
Jaya! Don’t tell me later that you were
not warned before, when you have to repent!”
“Don’t
bother! But you must get out of your
illusions that every one you speak to is your friend. We make many acquaintances, but have very few friends”, she said.
“And
you are one of the few, dear!”, I said, taking her hand in mine,
“But
let me tell you now itself. I will not
allow any of your friends to come near us”.
She said with determination.
But
Jaya need not have worried. Who would
come when there was no longer any honey in the hive or when they knew that
whatever was left was beyond their reach?