OBJECTIVE CORRELATIVE

 

Dr. K. Sandhya

 

The study of literature, it is said, makes a man a man.  It may often make a man a woman- a fragile being with delicate sensibilities and sentiments or vice-versa.  No doubt the latent senses get softened and aestheized.  The “emotions recollected in tranquility” become alive and one begins to wonder how one remains passive and inattentive to the countless things and events all around.  The human clock starts its duty early in the morning around five o’ clock.  Since then we are participants in or spectators of the continuously run human show; but we hardly express our inner-selves.

 

As a student and teacher of literature, I personally face certain conflicts and embarrassments.  Is it because of too much of sensitivity?  Or subjectivity?  Or pathetic fallacy?

 

I believe in the role that discipline plays in life, having been brought up in such environment and my education in strict missionary institutions right from the fist standard to graduation.  Insistence on the right behaviour and conduct has become almost a part of me.  I just cannot stand any unruly conduct, noisy atmosphere or to put it in a nutshell, any little thing out of its groove.  If anyone is late to the class, I am unhappy; if any student misses the test, I am rather displeased.  I detest postponing tests and exams just for a handful of girls.  I do not normally say anything to them; but I am troubled.  These are my traits. I married a man brought up by a disciplinarian like myself and I have had no problems whatsoever, in living harmoniously with him.

 

But the problems started after we attained parenthood.  We successfully carried on with our concepts till the girl and the boy were put to school.  We wanted them to go to bed at eight o’ clock and they did so.  After they were around four, the commotion started.  The boy wanted the Popeye show when we wanted him to go for his bath, the girl, though older than the boy, still timid, would obey but reluctantly.  With stouts, shrieks and threats, they would get ready and the rickshaw was to arrive.  The rickshaw man was far away from the concept of punctuality.  That would invariably lead to the children going late. Sometimes, he would come much before time, but there would be a traffic jam or my boy would not be ready.  I began to realise that external factors are beyond my jurisdiction.  There is no point in working myself up about small matters.

 

The same kind of reconciliation dawned on me with regard to my children’s performance in tests.  Sometimes a guest may arrive, or someone in the family is not well or a social obligation-so much so children are not ready fully for the test.  The strong holds on my convictions began to loosen.  I have swayed towards laxity rather, being more humane and considerate in my views and relationships.

 

When a student came five minutes late to the class, I would ask her to be on time and not to repeat it but let her in.  When a girl came panting to the examination hall sweating profusely, while I was distributing answer sheets for a college exam I could understand her perfectly.  A traffic jam, or the late coming of a bus or a sudden spot inspection by the Transport Authorities.  Her gasp itself revealed many things to me.  At once I could visualise myself in her position and feel on her behalf.  A student had clean forgotten about a test she had to write as part of revision, tears welled up in her eyes when I gave the others questions.  She came to me and cried like a three year old saying she had to attend on her mother who had a bout of fever the previous night.  Hence did not study.  When I was raw without any life’s experiences, I would launch into a big lecture, but now I again related myself to the situation.  I pondered if I was becoming unprofessional. Liberal, derelict in carrying out my duties.  Some instinct in me said that I was not.  I prayed to the Almighty to guide me.  He at once answered my prayers.  Fortunately, I am always right when I take the decision to excuse or exempt some feeling with them in their problems; I am stern with those who play truant and try to fool me.  With His guidance to distinguish between the genuine and the spurious I carry out my responsibilities without causing any hindrance to the norms of the place of work. I can see my own child when someone is in trouble.  I see myself when things go astray.  It is indeed an eye-opener.  Anything might happen to anyone at any time of life.  Why can’t we be more kind, forgiving, understanding, concerned and sympathetic? Slowly we will learn to empathize with the others. Objective correlative!

 

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