OBJECTIVE
CORRELATIVE
Dr. K. Sandhya
The study of
literature, it is said, makes a man a man.
It may often make a man a woman- a fragile being with delicate
sensibilities and sentiments or vice-versa.
No doubt the latent senses get softened and aestheized. The “emotions recollected in tranquility”
become alive and one begins to wonder how one remains passive and inattentive
to the countless things and events all around.
The human clock starts its duty early in the morning around five o’
clock. Since then we are participants
in or spectators of the continuously run human show; but we hardly express our
inner-selves.
As a student
and teacher of literature, I personally face certain conflicts and
embarrassments. Is it because of too
much of sensitivity? Or
subjectivity? Or pathetic fallacy?
I believe in
the role that discipline plays in life, having been brought up in such
environment and my education in strict missionary institutions right from the
fist standard to graduation. Insistence
on the right behaviour and conduct has become almost a part of me. I just cannot stand any unruly conduct,
noisy atmosphere or to put it in a nutshell, any little thing out of its
groove. If anyone is late to the class,
I am unhappy; if any student misses the test, I am rather displeased. I detest postponing tests and exams just for
a handful of girls. I do not normally
say anything to them; but I am troubled.
These are my traits. I married a man brought up by a disciplinarian like
myself and I have had no problems whatsoever, in living harmoniously with him.
But the
problems started after we attained parenthood.
We successfully carried on with our concepts till the girl and the boy
were put to school. We wanted them to
go to bed at eight o’ clock and they did so.
After they were around four, the commotion started. The boy wanted the Popeye show when we
wanted him to go for his bath, the girl, though older than the boy, still
timid, would obey but reluctantly. With
stouts, shrieks and threats, they would get ready and the rickshaw was to
arrive. The rickshaw man was far away
from the concept of punctuality. That
would invariably lead to the children going late. Sometimes, he would come much
before time, but there would be a traffic jam or my boy would not be
ready. I began to realise that external
factors are beyond my jurisdiction.
There is no point in working myself up about small matters.
The same kind
of reconciliation dawned on me with regard to my children’s performance in
tests. Sometimes a guest may arrive, or
someone in the family is not well or a social obligation-so much so children
are not ready fully for the test. The
strong holds on my convictions began to loosen. I have swayed towards laxity rather, being more humane and
considerate in my views and relationships.
When a
student came five minutes late to the class, I would ask her to be on time and
not to repeat it but let her in. When a
girl came panting to the examination hall sweating profusely, while I was distributing
answer sheets for a college exam I could understand her perfectly. A traffic jam, or the late coming of a bus
or a sudden spot inspection by the Transport Authorities. Her gasp itself revealed many things to
me. At once I could visualise myself in
her position and feel on her behalf. A
student had clean forgotten about a test she had to write as part of revision,
tears welled up in her eyes when I gave the others questions. She came to me and cried like a three year
old saying she had to attend on her mother who had a bout of fever the previous
night. Hence did not study. When I was raw without any life’s
experiences, I would launch into a big lecture, but now I again related myself
to the situation. I pondered if I was
becoming unprofessional. Liberal, derelict in carrying out my duties. Some instinct in me said that I was
not. I prayed to the Almighty to guide
me. He at once answered my
prayers. Fortunately, I am always right
when I take the decision to excuse or exempt some feeling with them in their
problems; I am stern with those who play truant and try to fool me. With His guidance to distinguish between the
genuine and the spurious I carry out my responsibilities without causing any
hindrance to the norms of the place of work. I can see my own child when
someone is in trouble. I see myself
when things go astray. It is indeed an
eye-opener. Anything might happen to
anyone at any time of life. Why can’t
we be more kind, forgiving, understanding, concerned and sympathetic? Slowly we
will learn to empathize with the others. Objective correlative!